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I basically live a normal life consisting of school and work. Sunday mornings, I am an assistant teacher at Rodeph Shalom Suburban Hebrew school. I have been an assistant teacher for a few years; thus, I have some teaching experience. Last year, a student in my fourth grade class attracted my attention. She was nine years old. Her name was Susanna DeLaurentis and she was diagnosed with cancer at age eight. She was an adorable little girl, with chestnut brown eyes and signs of some deep brown hair. This time last year, she was on her way to recovery. She was completing her chemotherapy treatments rather well. Her hair was just beginning to grow back, and she had barely enough to cover the top of her head. Sadly, this was not her first time diagnosed with cancer. She also had the disease at age two which nearly killed her. Susanna was very special and I could see that the first day she walked into the classroom. It has been said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and behind the fear in her eyes I saw a fighter.
It was heartbreaking after the first day when she cried
because she felt overwhelmed. She had missed out on her whole third grade year and she did not know anyone, let alone the classwork. She had a hearing-aid which made it difficult for her to understand the teacher
when the students were constantly chattering. I knew she would have a hard time blending in with the rest of the children.
Susanna was a very petite girl, somewhat frail and
fragile; yet she had the sweetest most innocent voice. I could not cry in front of her when she told me of her chemotherapy treatments, her vomiting, and how she had to fight for her life twice. She spoke of her
illness so casually, it made me break down inside; I thought what a cruel world we live in which bears children who see death flash before their eyes, before they have even experienced what life has to offer!
There are moments I spent with her that will stand out in
my mind. One particular image I remember was sitting in the cool grass one day after lunch. We sat under a vast maple tree while reading a story. Fall was in bloom and the crisp October air was softly whispering.
She sat and told me of how her hearing aid is traced back to the hospital and how everything she hears is recorded. Also, she was delighted with the color of her hair that was growing back. I remember being thankful
that she was sitting in my lap, so she could not see the tears forming in my eyes. She described her collection of bandanas she used to cover her bare head and how she was so conditioned to the vomiting. I remember
her exact words that afternoon: "This is not my first time with cancer; I had it when I was two and I don't know if it will go away for good."
I looked at Susanna and I realized that no matter what
trivial problems I may have in my life, I was fortunate to be blessed with good health. I may think I have troubles, but the truth is, I do not. Not once have I ever had to face a struggle for my life. I was playing
kickball and elimination when I was nine years old. My summers were spent in the bright outdoors where I could do anything I wanted. I was free to run in the sandbox, jump in the pool, or do arts and crafts in the
brisk shade. I was not losing my hair and vomiting from chemotherapy. I was not spending my fruitful years in dank, depressing hospital rooms. Throughout my years I grew a strong healthy body for which I never thank
G-d. When I thought about her, I hung my head in shame reflecting on the times I used to complain about things such as wanting pizza for dinner or wanting to sleep at a friend's house. I am able to cheerlead and
dance without appreciating my physical well-being. I only saw my life through my eyes and for the first time I began to see my life through the eyes of a terminally ill child. For me, it was a rude awakening, yet
one I was glad to experience. Susanna was the sweetest girl I have crossed paths with in my life, and I think about her every so often. I sometimes still reflect for a moment that my problems are not the end of the
world, because I am lucky to have my trivial problems rather than tragic ones like Susanna.
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